The Social Game

What’s the “social game?”

The social game is, quite simply, the human experience of searching for a connection with others. Let me repeat that…

The social game is the human experience of searching for a connection with others.

Be it love, guidance, companionship, the game remains the same: discovering a connection.

So what’s the objective of the social game?

The objective of the social game is either one of two things: 

1. To find others with whom you belong.

2. To understand others and receive understanding from others.

Bear in mind, the objective of the social game isn’t to achieve survival, attain power or find fulfillment in it — no, these are other games of life, in and of themselves. While they may relate to the social game by virtue of association, make no mistake that the objective of the social game is to find either: belonging or understanding. 

The other games can certainly influence or impact the social game, but know that the social game is definitely a game of its own in this life — for life is, after all, a game of games.

Before it’s finally game over.

Now how do you win the social game?


You either find the people with whom you sense a “place” of belonging or “sync” so well with someone that you both discover a deep and dynamic understanding of each other — both connections developed through time.

In other words, to construct a “world” of your own with the people you believe are kin or to find acceptance from another person whom you also accept — ideally, almost completely — realistically, not completely. Because you cannot accept what you do not understand — and the only person you understand “completely” is yourself — every little detail, thought, memory — yours and yours alone in totality.

However, when two people share themselves with each other intimately, go through the same extreme experiences with one another or sacrifice their lives for each other’s sake, such deep and dynamic understanding of each other simply skyrockets — perhaps not to 100% but pretty darn close.

You will never find someone who understands you completely. In totality. Because that person is you and you alone.

Maybe God, if you’re of that faith, some meta being or some other supernatural force beyond the scope of the observable universe and scientific inquiry.

Other than that, though, the actuality is that your human experience is yours and yours alone — only you have a complete understanding of yourself and your life. Which, ironically, makes the social game so lonely.

This you realize as you play it.

Your kin won’t be there forever — some may leave, some may die, some may go missing — and your “place” of belonging will eventually collapse, harsh as it may be.

No one will understand you for all that you are, no matter what you may communicate, experience or share with others, for you are ultimately your own person with your own journey from beginning to end.

Others have their own journey from beginning to end, and while some may link up with yours for some time — and, you, theirs — maybe even for a while, you will ultimately part ways with each other in time. After your last dance, together. It’s inevitable. Such is the human experience.

How, then, do you actually “win” the social game?

…you can’t win it. The failure rate is 100%.

And just like any game, once it’s game over, you go your way as do others while the credits roll.

What, then, are you supposed to do in the social game?

You play it, knowing you will fail. 

Much like life.

You live it, knowing you will die.

Your connections with others will, invariably, not last forever. Some may fade away, suddenly die or go awry.

Regardless, it is the memories that count as a profound whole — stitched together into your own thread in the fabric of time, where others may see the film that is your life.

Phantoms in a movie theater, ghosts filling the seats, laughing skeletons munching on popcorn that they can’t eat — watching your life unfold on the big screen in this social game in life that nobody wins.

At least you’ll know your game was entertaining — your life, moving — even if it may not seem so in your eyes.

The social game is a cruel one, but that doesn’t mean it’s not meaningful or worthwhile in some sense, any sense, really. 

For even losers can be winners. Just by simply trying and playing this game of life.

It is the effort, after all, that counts — if even just for you as you follow your path in life towards its inevitable end in all its glory into the hereafter.

So play on, my good friend. 

You’re going to find your way.


Dear friend,

Thanks for stopping by for a moment with me. It makes me happy to see you come by for a read or two, especially each week. I hope you’re doing well and making it by in this life — the game of games.

Maybe I’ll see you on the sidelines one day, cheering you on from there.